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Season 7 Episode 1 – The Best Man
The episode picks up from where the season 6 finale left off, when Ted is called in to speak to Barney before his wedding to a mystery bride. As Barney's best man, Barney wants Ted's opinion on the tie he's wearing, though Barney becomes nervous and goes into a long-winded confession in front of Ted about whether he should have gone with "the other tie", the tie being a metaphor for something, presumably his bride-to-be. In the midst of his wedding jitters, he fears that this wedding will be the worst wedding of all time. Ted responds by saying that they have already been to the worst wedding ever which Marshall ruined: In September 2011, the gang attended Punchy's wedding in Cleveland, with Ted as Punchy's best man.
Season 7 Episode 2 – The Naked Truth
Marshall is still hungover after Punchy's wedding, and makes a "sweeping declaration" that he will henceforth permanently stay sober. Future Ted says that Marshall's "sweeping declarations" typically don't work. Marshall receives a call from Garrison Cootes, a partner at one of the nation's largest environmental law firms. He tells Marshall that the company is "very interested" in Marshall's application for employment, and he will receive a job offer after the company completes an extensive background check. The danger of a background check concerns Marshall, who fears that a college-era video of him streaking through Wesleyan calling himself "Beercules", which is now available online, could result in Garrison's dropping the job offer. Marshall contacts the uploader, Pete Durkensen, an old college acquaintance, and asks him to remove the video. However, Marshall ends up getting drunk and streaking again, the effect of playing Edward Fortyhands with Pete, although Pete originally wanted to play Darts, and thus another "Beercules" video is uploaded. Pete's refusal to take it down prompts Lily to blackmail him with information that she claims to have received from women who dated him in college. Eventually, Garrison does see the video, but offers Marshall a job anyway; the video is not an issue with him.
Season 7 Episode 3 – Ducky Tie
Marshall has acquired a new tie with a duck pattern, which Barney despises because he finds the design unstylish. Now that Lily is pregnant, her breasts have gotten bigger, so Barney wants to see them; both Lily and Marshall refuse. The group decide to go to "Shinjitsu", a teppanyaki restaurant for dinner, where Barney insults the cooking style, claiming he can do all the techniques the chef can do with ease. Marshall becomes angry and challenges Barney to do every technique, with permission to touch Lily's breasts if he succeeds. If Barney fails, he must wear Marshall's ducky tie for one year.
Season 7 Episode 4 – The Stinson Missile Crisis
After assaulting a woman aiming to break up Barney's relationship with Nora, Robin must attend a court-mandated therapy session. As she tells the therapist the events leading up to the assault, Robin keeps digressing into the story of how Ted became too involved with Lily's pregnancy.
During the session, she reveals to her therapist that she has been growing jealous of the attention that Barney showers on Nora, reinforcing the fact that Robin still has feelings for Barney. When she succeeds in getting Nora sent to France to cover a G-8 summit, Robin secretly hopes to use the time to win Barney back. Robin helps Barney pack up all of the items he uses for running plays on women, and when they go back to MacLaren's, Robin suggests that they dress up and go out on the town drunk and wasted for one last time. Before Barney can respond, Nora walks in, having returned early. They leave and Robin ends up getting drunk under the table of their booth. When a 'victim' of one of Barney's plays shows up at the bar, Robin sends her after Barney and Nora, hoping to break them up.
During the session, she reveals to her therapist that she has been growing jealous of the attention that Barney showers on Nora, reinforcing the fact that Robin still has feelings for Barney. When she succeeds in getting Nora sent to France to cover a G-8 summit, Robin secretly hopes to use the time to win Barney back. Robin helps Barney pack up all of the items he uses for running plays on women, and when they go back to MacLaren's, Robin suggests that they dress up and go out on the town drunk and wasted for one last time. Before Barney can respond, Nora walks in, having returned early. They leave and Robin ends up getting drunk under the table of their booth. When a 'victim' of one of Barney's plays shows up at the bar, Robin sends her after Barney and Nora, hoping to break them up.
Season 7 Episode 5 – Field Trip
Ted wants to take his class on a field trip to the GNB Tower construction site in hopes of inspiring at least one student to become an architect. However, the field trip goes awry when Ted finds he cannot enter the site, and ends up taking his class to various places in the city instead, picking up Barney and a German family in the process, while losing more students. Ted feels that his field trip is a failure, but is delighted when one of his students admits that he might consider becoming an architect (though Future Ted reveals that the student actually became a Disc jockey).
During the field trip, Barney reveals that after he discovered that Nora hates Ewoks, he assumes that she lied about her age based on the theory that everyone born before May 25, 1973 was old enough to hate the Ewoks by the time Return of the Jedi was released. He and Ted wind up using his class and the German family as a focus group to resolve all their long-standing debates, with little resolution for their current problems. However, when Barney confronts Nora after deciding that he is willing to accept that she apparently lied about her age, she explains that she has only recently watched the Star Wars films, explaining her dislike of Ewoks.
During the field trip, Barney reveals that after he discovered that Nora hates Ewoks, he assumes that she lied about her age based on the theory that everyone born before May 25, 1973 was old enough to hate the Ewoks by the time Return of the Jedi was released. He and Ted wind up using his class and the German family as a focus group to resolve all their long-standing debates, with little resolution for their current problems. However, when Barney confronts Nora after deciding that he is willing to accept that she apparently lied about her age, she explains that she has only recently watched the Star Wars films, explaining her dislike of Ewoks.
Season 7 Episode 6 – Mystery Vs. History
When Ted decides to date a woman named Janet MacIntyre without researching her, Barney and Robin attempt to intervene by researching Janet for him, which he insists that they do not. Ted explains to Kevin that Robin and Barney have researched many of the women he dated in the past and ruined the relationships by revealing unappealing background information on them. Before his date with Janet, he makes a deal with her that they will not research each other on the Internet, which she agrees to.
In the meantime, Marshall and Lily recruit Barney, Robin, and Kevin to help paint the room for their baby. Though they have obtained the information on the sex of their baby, they choose not to open the envelope containing the information so that the baby's sex will be a surprise when it is born. Barney disagrees with their decision and tries to convince them to open the envelope, arguing that there are advantages to knowing what the child's sex will be. When everyone begins arguing about whether "mystery" is better, Kevin calls them out on their behavior. He admits that while he did not want to analyze them, he has noticed that everyone in their group is unreasonably close and have been meddling too much in each other's lives. While Kevin's assessment appears to be true, it causes a rift between him and Robin, which he attempts to make up for by offering to paint the rest of the room by himself.
In the meantime, Marshall and Lily recruit Barney, Robin, and Kevin to help paint the room for their baby. Though they have obtained the information on the sex of their baby, they choose not to open the envelope containing the information so that the baby's sex will be a surprise when it is born. Barney disagrees with their decision and tries to convince them to open the envelope, arguing that there are advantages to knowing what the child's sex will be. When everyone begins arguing about whether "mystery" is better, Kevin calls them out on their behavior. He admits that while he did not want to analyze them, he has noticed that everyone in their group is unreasonably close and have been meddling too much in each other's lives. While Kevin's assessment appears to be true, it causes a rift between him and Robin, which he attempts to make up for by offering to paint the rest of the room by himself.
Season 7 Episode 7 – Noretta
Barney's brother, James, drops by for a visit before Barney and Nora leave for a date which Nora promises will be special. Though James admits that he thinks Nora is a nice girl, he is unsettled by the fact that she is too much like their mother, Loretta. Kevin comments that it is natural to like people who remind them of their parents.
During their date, a series of mishaps, including Nora breaking her tooth while ice skating, a rat falling onto her head, and a man committing suicide nearly dissuades her from sleeping with Barney. He manages to turn all the incidents around, although he is unsettled when he sees the similarities between Nora and his mother. However, he sleeps with Nora anyway and remarks that her resemblance to his mother makes her more special to him.
Marshall accidentally insults Lily when she admits to feeling unattractive as her body begins to swell from pregnancy. To show her how beautiful she is, Marshall makes up a board game. However, the plan backfires when Lily recalls Kevin's words about how it is natural to like someone who resembles one's parents; Lily remembers that her father also loved to create absurd board games. When she admits to being uncomfortable around Marshall because she keeps imagining her father, Marshall winds up seeing familiar traits of his father in Lily. They cancel their romantic plans for the evening, though Marshall admits that the common traits that Lily shares with his father makes her attractive to him all the same.
During their date, a series of mishaps, including Nora breaking her tooth while ice skating, a rat falling onto her head, and a man committing suicide nearly dissuades her from sleeping with Barney. He manages to turn all the incidents around, although he is unsettled when he sees the similarities between Nora and his mother. However, he sleeps with Nora anyway and remarks that her resemblance to his mother makes her more special to him.
Marshall accidentally insults Lily when she admits to feeling unattractive as her body begins to swell from pregnancy. To show her how beautiful she is, Marshall makes up a board game. However, the plan backfires when Lily recalls Kevin's words about how it is natural to like someone who resembles one's parents; Lily remembers that her father also loved to create absurd board games. When she admits to being uncomfortable around Marshall because she keeps imagining her father, Marshall winds up seeing familiar traits of his father in Lily. They cancel their romantic plans for the evening, though Marshall admits that the common traits that Lily shares with his father makes her attractive to him all the same.
Season 7 Episode 8 – The Slutty Pumpkin
Future Ted reminds his kids about how ten years earlier he met the Slutty Pumpkin, a girl in a provocative pumpkin costume who appeared to be very compatible with Ted, during the rooftop Halloween party. However, he lost the Kit Kat bar that she had written her number on and waited each year in vain for her to appear again.
In October 2011, Ted sees the slutty pumpkin costume in the window of a shop, where the owner willingly divulges the identity the woman who rented it in 2001. Ted meets Naomi, the girl who wore the costume; she has also been searching for Ted, and they start dating. Ted immediately realizes they have no chemistry and that he has no feelings for her, but he can't bring himself to end the relationship so quickly after finally finding her. When Ted decides that he needs to break up with Naomi, he's stunned to see she's wearing the slutty pumpkin costume; he says that he loves her and they have sex. They arrive at the Halloween party on the roof wearing the costumes they wore when they first met. After Naomi consumes a Tootsie Roll drink, she confesses that she found their relationship as awkward as Ted did, but felt similarly resistant to ending it (though Ted does not reveal to her how he felt). They break up amicably.
In October 2011, Ted sees the slutty pumpkin costume in the window of a shop, where the owner willingly divulges the identity the woman who rented it in 2001. Ted meets Naomi, the girl who wore the costume; she has also been searching for Ted, and they start dating. Ted immediately realizes they have no chemistry and that he has no feelings for her, but he can't bring himself to end the relationship so quickly after finally finding her. When Ted decides that he needs to break up with Naomi, he's stunned to see she's wearing the slutty pumpkin costume; he says that he loves her and they have sex. They arrive at the Halloween party on the roof wearing the costumes they wore when they first met. After Naomi consumes a Tootsie Roll drink, she confesses that she found their relationship as awkward as Ted did, but felt similarly resistant to ending it (though Ted does not reveal to her how he felt). They break up amicably.
Season 7 Episode 9 – Disaster Averted
Barney has grown tired of his Ducky Tie and makes up a story in order to hide the fact that he has thrown the tie away, but he is foiled when Lily enters the bar holding the tie which she found in the garbage.
When entering MacLaren's bar, Kevin noticed a sign at the entrance which read "No boogie boarding", and asks about it. The group tells him what happened to them during Hurricane Irene. Ted had planned to have his friends ride out the hurricane in his house out of the city, but Barney convinces them to stay in his city apartment, saying that the storm is nothing to worry about. Lily and Barney eventually get calls from their parents asking if they are all right, and Robin grows jealous because her father has not called her. When she denies that she feels neglected, Barney fake calls Robin as her dad to prove her jealousy. When the group do decide to evacuate to Ted's house, Ted tells Barney that he can't come, as Ted found a girl in the hallway whom he said could ride in Barney's place. This alteration causes altercations; everyone fights over who gets to go or stay. Ted finally says that he is going to go by himself. Marshall turns on the TV just in time to call Ted back to hear Mayor Bloomberg's speech saying that the evacuation time has passed and that everyone must go inside and wait out the storm.
When entering MacLaren's bar, Kevin noticed a sign at the entrance which read "No boogie boarding", and asks about it. The group tells him what happened to them during Hurricane Irene. Ted had planned to have his friends ride out the hurricane in his house out of the city, but Barney convinces them to stay in his city apartment, saying that the storm is nothing to worry about. Lily and Barney eventually get calls from their parents asking if they are all right, and Robin grows jealous because her father has not called her. When she denies that she feels neglected, Barney fake calls Robin as her dad to prove her jealousy. When the group do decide to evacuate to Ted's house, Ted tells Barney that he can't come, as Ted found a girl in the hallway whom he said could ride in Barney's place. This alteration causes altercations; everyone fights over who gets to go or stay. Ted finally says that he is going to go by himself. Marshall turns on the TV just in time to call Ted back to hear Mayor Bloomberg's speech saying that the evacuation time has passed and that everyone must go inside and wait out the storm.
Season 7 Episode 10 – Tick Tick Tick …
Barney and Robin awaken in bed together from the events of the previous night. They agree to try and keep it a secret, but this will prove difficult as they are attending a cruise party with their significant others, Kevin and Nora. They realize that they cannot keep it a secret, and believing this is the way they are meant to reconcile, decide to tell Kevin and Nora they cheated on them. After several failed attempts on the boat, Barney and Robin agree to tell Nora and Kevin respectively after they return to shore.
Meanwhile, Ted, Lily, and Marshall attend a concert, where Ted insists that he and Marshall consume some marijuana to enjoy the concert. Marshall reluctantly agrees, though he believes that he must become more responsible because he will be a father soon, while Ted fears that life is moving too quickly and they won't be able to enjoy all the things they wanted to in the past. While they're high, Ted and Marshall leave their seats to find some nachos for Lily. Walking around the entire arena twice, also inadvertently standing in line for the women's restroom line many times, they become frustrated with one another and set off on their own. They are met by a mysterious guitarist, who guides them back together and presents them with nachos. Though disappointed that they've missed the concert, Ted and Marshall conclude that time will go on whether they are ready or not. When Lily later finds them, she informs them that rather being gone for several hours, they were only gone for two minutes. As captured by a security camera, Ted and Marshall actually stayed in the same section of the arena, the mysterious guitarist was really a life-size cardboard cutout, and Ted actually pulled the nachos out of a trash can. They return to the concert, but decide to leave after ten minutes.
Meanwhile, Ted, Lily, and Marshall attend a concert, where Ted insists that he and Marshall consume some marijuana to enjoy the concert. Marshall reluctantly agrees, though he believes that he must become more responsible because he will be a father soon, while Ted fears that life is moving too quickly and they won't be able to enjoy all the things they wanted to in the past. While they're high, Ted and Marshall leave their seats to find some nachos for Lily. Walking around the entire arena twice, also inadvertently standing in line for the women's restroom line many times, they become frustrated with one another and set off on their own. They are met by a mysterious guitarist, who guides them back together and presents them with nachos. Though disappointed that they've missed the concert, Ted and Marshall conclude that time will go on whether they are ready or not. When Lily later finds them, she informs them that rather being gone for several hours, they were only gone for two minutes. As captured by a security camera, Ted and Marshall actually stayed in the same section of the arena, the mysterious guitarist was really a life-size cardboard cutout, and Ted actually pulled the nachos out of a trash can. They return to the concert, but decide to leave after ten minutes.
Season 7 Episode 11 – The Rebound Girl
Ted and Barney have been drinking. They are both upset with the poor state of their recent romantic relationships, so they decide to adopt a child as "bros". Deciding at first to wait till they sober up, they still decide to proceed. An argument ensues and Barney storms out. Ted apologizes the next day, when Barney arrives with a child named "Hurricane Mosby-Stinson". While Ted is worried about where the baby came from, he is swayed into keeping the child when he notices how much female attention he and Barney attract with the child.
Marshall and Lily drop by the house they inherited from her grandparents, which they are planning to sell. However, after returning to their city apartment, they perceive the apartment to be MUCH smaller than before, and they rashly decide to move to the house in Long Island. When Robin learns the decision, she is shocked and afraid of losing "the gang". In an effort to change their minds, she reminds them of the time when Marshall almost purchased an abandoned firehouse and became a Ghostbuster. When the three arrive at the house to prepare for Thanksgiving, Robin locks herself in their bathroom and refuses to leave until they change their minds.
Marshall and Lily drop by the house they inherited from her grandparents, which they are planning to sell. However, after returning to their city apartment, they perceive the apartment to be MUCH smaller than before, and they rashly decide to move to the house in Long Island. When Robin learns the decision, she is shocked and afraid of losing "the gang". In an effort to change their minds, she reminds them of the time when Marshall almost purchased an abandoned firehouse and became a Ghostbuster. When the three arrive at the house to prepare for Thanksgiving, Robin locks herself in their bathroom and refuses to leave until they change their minds.
Season 7 Episode 12 – Symphony of Illumination
Instead of Future Ted narrating to his kids, this episode opens with Robin telling her two kids about the time she revealed to their father (whom she alluded to as Barney Stinson) that she was pregnant. The scene cuts to Barney and Robin in the bathroom of the Marshalls' Long Island house, picking up from the end of the previous episode. Robin explains that she is a week late with her period, and has a doctor appointment to verify that she is pregnant. She also reveals she and Kevin have not yet been intimate, meaning that if she is pregnant, Barney is the father. Although Barney is giddy at the prospect of becoming a father (which causes Robin to faint), Robin is not happy and is still firmly against having children of her own (since it would mean an end to her desired career path). While helping Lily shop for baby furniture at "We B Babies", Barney shares her feelings when he sees how the life of an old friend, 'Insane Duane', has changed since marrying and having children. Both Robin and Barney are relieved when the doctor informs them that Robin is not pregnant. Robin celebrates not being pregnant for a day, until she receives additional news from the doctor: she is unable to have children. Robin struggles to find a way to tell her friends, so she lies and says instead that she is disappointed at not making the Canadian women's pole vaulting team, using it as a metaphor.
Season 7 Episode 13 – Tailgate
After celebrating New Year's Eve, Marshall visits his father's gravesite to carry on their tradition of tailgating. However, his attempts to have a private moment with his father are derailed when his brothers arrive with the same idea in mind, and nearby mourners at another funeral gradually drift over and join Marshall's tailgating party. Nevertheless, Marshall narrates the story of how he, Lily, Ted, Barney and Robin spent New Year's Eve.
Lily and Marshall are decorating the baby's bedroom in East Meadow when Marshall learns that Lily hasn't told her dad yet that she is pregnant. Marshall convinces her to call her father, but Lily is disappointed with her father's nonchalant reaction and that he immediately hung up afterward. When Marshall decides to narrate the "Enigmas of the Mystical" - his favorite childhood book - Lily admits she can't believe any of the stories. Realizing that Lily is upset, Marshall apologizes and explains he acted that way because his dad made him believe in the magical. Lily reveals that her dad taught her not to believe in anything but herself.
In the meantime, Ted and Barney turn Ted's apartment into an impromptu bar, calling it "Puzzles",[2] after becoming frustrated with how difficult it is to get to MacLaren's during the New Year's Eve crush. They recruit Kevin to man the bar, and Doug (the MacLaren's bouncer) to act as their bouncer. They initially plan on providing drinks at reasonable prices, but are eventually forced to gradually increase the price when they have trouble managing the rowdy patrons, who eventually all leave.
Lily and Marshall are decorating the baby's bedroom in East Meadow when Marshall learns that Lily hasn't told her dad yet that she is pregnant. Marshall convinces her to call her father, but Lily is disappointed with her father's nonchalant reaction and that he immediately hung up afterward. When Marshall decides to narrate the "Enigmas of the Mystical" - his favorite childhood book - Lily admits she can't believe any of the stories. Realizing that Lily is upset, Marshall apologizes and explains he acted that way because his dad made him believe in the magical. Lily reveals that her dad taught her not to believe in anything but herself.
In the meantime, Ted and Barney turn Ted's apartment into an impromptu bar, calling it "Puzzles",[2] after becoming frustrated with how difficult it is to get to MacLaren's during the New Year's Eve crush. They recruit Kevin to man the bar, and Doug (the MacLaren's bouncer) to act as their bouncer. They initially plan on providing drinks at reasonable prices, but are eventually forced to gradually increase the price when they have trouble managing the rowdy patrons, who eventually all leave.
Season 7 Episode 14 – 46 Minutes
Marshall and Lily officially move to the suburbs, where they find Lily's dad Mickey not wanting to move out. After putting up with him for two weeks, Marshall finally snaps and tells Mickey to move out. When the power goes out, a hurt Mickey decides to play tricks on Marshall and try to prevent him from successfully reaching the basement where the fuse box is. When Marshall trips down the basement stairs, Lily convinces Mickey to instruct Marshall, via intercom, how to operate the fuse box, which he does, leading to Marshall successfully getting the power back on.
Meanwhile, Ted finds himself missing Marshall and Lily, while Barney embraces being the new leader of the group. The gang, including Kevin, goes to a strip club, where Ted tries to make Stripper Lily and her boyfriend Aryvdas fit into the group as a new Lily and Marshall. As the night progresses, Robin and Kevin play "New Relationship Chicken" (where they always say 'yes' to things to seem more interesting) until they admit they don't like it, and Ted becomes increasingly inebriated and sad. After a poker game Stripper Lily and Aryvdas steal $200 from each of the gang, so the gang decide to go to Long Island and be with Marshall and Lily.
At Marshall and Lily's house, Ted admits that he misses them, and they all sit down for breakfast. Lily tells her father that he can stay for a little longer, to which he replies that he'll be staying "two weeks," although Future Ted states that it "wasn't two weeks." Future Ted then says that even though they all eventually moved away from their booth at MacLaren's, their "booth" was wherever they all were.
Meanwhile, Ted finds himself missing Marshall and Lily, while Barney embraces being the new leader of the group. The gang, including Kevin, goes to a strip club, where Ted tries to make Stripper Lily and her boyfriend Aryvdas fit into the group as a new Lily and Marshall. As the night progresses, Robin and Kevin play "New Relationship Chicken" (where they always say 'yes' to things to seem more interesting) until they admit they don't like it, and Ted becomes increasingly inebriated and sad. After a poker game Stripper Lily and Aryvdas steal $200 from each of the gang, so the gang decide to go to Long Island and be with Marshall and Lily.
At Marshall and Lily's house, Ted admits that he misses them, and they all sit down for breakfast. Lily tells her father that he can stay for a little longer, to which he replies that he'll be staying "two weeks," although Future Ted states that it "wasn't two weeks." Future Ted then says that even though they all eventually moved away from their booth at MacLaren's, their "booth" was wherever they all were.
